Cache
by EverfallingTwilight
Summary: [Yaoi] Voldemort is murdered in a freaky yet awesome incident. This is Harry's 7th Year, with a new world, a new life, and a new friend. Namely, Draco Malfoy. One curse line, hence rating. Bad Harry!


**Of Charmed Caches, Charmed Radios, and Charming Archenemy Lovers.**

_HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED MURDERED_

_In an extraordinary event taking place in the suburb of Frankston, in the state of Victoria, located in Australia, He-Who-Must-Not-Ne-Named was murdered by a mere one and a half year old Muggle girl. _

_An unknowing mother sent her daughter outside into their back garden to play at about two o'clock, and started her Sunday afternoon housework. She was just finishing folding up her clean washing (by hand, as is the Muggle way), when the front of her house was suddenly imploded due to a spell cast by You-Know-Who. As he stood over the mother, the daughter ran inside from the back garden, and proceeded to point a wand at He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and yell a few sentences of nonsense at him. _

_The girl, who could not speak English properly, apparently has magic in her blood, as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was immediately incinerated by her last sentence, which turned out to be a spell created entirely from the girl's need to protect her mother._

_Where did she get the wand, you may all be asking. The underage wizard, Dennis Creevy, is the culprit here. Attempting to apparate the three feet from his bedroom to his brother's, he completed the apparition without splinching himself, but consequentially apparated to our Muggle saviour's back garden._

"_I was wearing Muggle clothing, since my dad is a Muggle and it was the holidays. I apparated behind a tree, which she skipped around a moment after. I think that she thought I was a normal kid who had come to her garden to play with her. I crouched down, and she pointed at my wand questioningly. I handed it to her, and she laughed and began examining it, obviously intrigued by how smooth a 'stick' it was. Then, we heard the explosion and saw dust and rubble shoot up above the roof. She went racing inside immediately with my wand, and I ran after her. As I reached the door of their destroyed lounge room, I saw him standing over the girl's mother, and the girl was waving her arms, one clutching my wand, in the air and yelling gibberish at him. As she took a breath after yelling a lot of things, a black spell with navy streaks through it shot out of my wand, and deep blue flames burst out on him. A second later he seemed to crumble in on himself, the flames vanished, and all that was left was a small pile of reddish brown ash. It was the most stunning thing I'd ever seen in my life." – A direct quote from Dennis Creevy._

_The reasoning behind You-Know-Who being in Australia has not been confirmed, and probably never will. At the defeat of their 'Lord', every Death Eater has turned him/herself in, and all of them have been sent directly to Azkaban on life sentences. The Dementors are now an extinct species, and the giants involved have been Stunned and returned to their homes in the mountains, with many spells activated to deter anyone, Muggle or Wizard, from going near their area._

_The mother and daughter were given a thorough explanation of our world and what they had taken part in by Rufus Scrimgeour, Minister of Magic, and the daughter, named Emelsa Felinius, will attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in due time. This is Rita Skeeter, top reporter for the Daily Prophet, wishing everyone a long, safe and happy life now that our tyrant and all of his followers are dissipated._

Harry read all this from the morning paper on his birthday with pressure building in his chest, As he read, his eyes were wild with excitement, and as he finished reading, he threw down the paper and proceeded to scream, "OH FUCK YES!" at the top of his lungs, jumping up at down madly.

He heard a scream from Aunt Marge and a bellow from Uncle Vernon downstairs, and a smash of something breaking as it was dropped. Harry snatched up the paper and went charging down the stairs and into the kitchen, throwing the paper onto the table.

"He's gone! He's gone! He's truly gone; it's the best news in the world!" He shrieked, and then went charging out of the kitchen and back up to his room.

The owl who had delivered the paper screeched angrily at him as he burst back into the room. Realising he hadn't paid it; he grabbed the money bag from his open trunk and opened the small leather pouch on its leg, putting in six galleons (all the pouch could hold).

The cinnamon coloured owl hooted smugly and swept out the window and off into the dawn sky. Harry turned, snatched his wand up, called _Hilopherusus_, and began throwing his things into his trunk, not bothering with the size of the pile inside it.

As usual, he had stayed awake until midnight to silently celebrate his birthday, and also his coming of age. He had then cast an expansion spell on the lid of his trunk, and bewitched it to weigh only a kilogram. After that, he had gathered every one of his belongings and charmed them so that when he raised his wand and said _Hilopherusus_, they would all glow bright orange, enabling him to find them easily.

When everything was in his trunk (and his room looking miserably bare), he grabbed the set of clothes he had neglected to pack and quickly changed, throwing his pyjamas onto the pile in the trunk. He slipped under his bed and emptied his secret under-floorboard place into his trunk too, and shut the lid easily.

He then grabbed his broom from on top of his wardrobe and set it down on top of the trunk, took Hedwig's empty cage and set it there too, then trotted downstairs happily.

Vernon and Dudley were both looking like they were thinking, and Aunt Petunia was looking over the front page article again. They all looked up as he entered, and before any of them could say anything, Harry basically chirped his words in an ecstatic tone.

"He and everyone on his side are gone, there's absolutely no danger in my world any more, plus I'm of age today so I can use magic freely. I'm going now, and you'll never see me again as long as you live. I'll just take my paper, then I'll be going. Goodbye!"

With that, Harry snatched his paper from Aunt Petunia's hands, and raced back up the stairs. He opened his trunk a tiny bit, shoved the paper in, then performed a Vanishing spell on the trunk. He quickly attached it to his broom, opened the window, and mounted his broom. He was about to perform a Disillusionment on himself when the bedroom door opened and Uncle Vernon barked "Hold it one ruddy minute!"

"What?" Harry asked exasperatedly, lowering his wand and looking over his shoulder.

"You can't go. People will see. Give us a nice little reputation, you will." Vernon said darkly.

Harry sighed and raised his wand. The Dursleys leapt back. He rapped himself hard over the head, and felt the hot egg smash feel. The three Muggles gasped and glanced wildly around.

"I'm still here, on my broom. I made myself like a chameleon. You can't see it, but I made my trunk invisible, and it's on my broom. Nobody will see me at all. You don't need to worry about anything either; I'm happy to leave and I won't ever need anything from you."

With that, he shoved his wand in his pocket and kicks off hard, zooming out the window. He quickly climbed higher, shooting through a gap in the morning clouds and bursting out into radiant sunshine.

As he shot along, his broom seemingly spurred on by his ecstatic mood, he was reminded of his third year. He had thought of doing this exact same thing back then.

He remembered with a pang, what had stopped him from doing it. The (rather scary at the time) appearance of his Animagus godfather, Sirius. His chest clenched and ached as he remembered how happy he had been for fifteen glorious minute, thinking he was going to live with Sirius.

"Hey, that must mean Pettigrew turned himself in! It said all his Death Eaters had been sent to Azkaban!" Harry exclaimed aloud, as his thoughts turned onto Wormtail, who had 'ratted' out his parents.

"Hey, I'll be living at Grimmauld Place now." He said, still thinking aloud. "I **will **be living with Sirius, in a sense. Good… Sirius wanted me to live there and be happy, and now I will." Harry said the last part firmly to himself, then glanced down through a break in the cloud cover and realised he was almost there already.

When he found the right opening, he dove down and went racing towards the ground. He pulled up sharply and tumbled rather gracefully off his broom and landed on his feet on the path, right where number 12 Grimmauld Place would be once he wanted it to. As he landed, he was reminded with a happy jolt in his stomach of the first time he had ever flown, saved Neville's Remembrall, and consequentially been drafted into the Gryffindor Quiddich team.

"The youngest player in a whole century..." He mumbled to himself, as he glared at the gap between 11 and 13 Grimmauld Place. His new home appeared, and he knocked loudly on the front door.

The ear-splitting screams of Mrs Black immediately echoed around, and he heard thudding and yells from upstairs, signalling that everyone had been asleep. He checked his watch and found his arm still Disillusioned. He quickly rapped himself over the head and, ignoring the cold egg smash, quickly UnVanished his trunk and set them to the side.

The screaming stopped suddenly, and an irritated Mrs Weasley yanked the door open.

"I've **told** you a million- HARRY DEAR!"

Harry was immediately crushed into a huge hug, which was just as quickly turned into an enormous group hug as Lupin, Tonks, Mr Weasley, Bill, Charlie, Fleur, Percy, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny and Hermione were alerted to his presence.

When they all finally let go of each other, Mrs Weasley marched him inside and pushed him down into a chair, going to the stove and beginning to load up an enormous plate of food for him. He saw Bill quickly running upstairs with his things through the small crowd that quickly came into the kitchen and seated themselves at the long table, and immediately began discussing Emelsa's Victory (it had been christened so by Ginny).

Harry didn't speak, but opted instead to eat enough to feed a harem of Hippogriffs, then went around the table and hugged everyone, placing a kiss on the cheek of all the women. When he had sat back down, they all immediately continued discussing all the events. Before anyone realised it, it was just past four o'clock in the afternoon, and all of them were extremely hungry.

Mrs Weasley cooked enough to feed everyone five servings, and everything was devoured. When they had finished, it was just getting on dinner time. "Let's all go sit in the lounge and start a fire. You can tell us about your summer and how you got here, Harry, and we'll just relax for the rest of the day. If anyone gets hungry later, there are snacks in the pantry and Butterbeer too."

Everybody was too happy to argue with the (quite good, actually) suggestion, and they all did just that. After telling everyone about his summer and how he got here, with a congratulations and a thump on the back from Ron, Fred and George at his maniac reaction to the Daily Prophet, he casually mentioned, "Oh yeah, and I found out I'm homosexual last week, too."

Every man burst out laughing, Mrs Weasley and Tonks stared at him speechlessly, Hermione shouted "I knew it!" and slapped him on the shoulder, and Ginny made a small, indignant noise of disbelief.

When the commotion faded, Mrs Weasley managed to speak at last (Tonks had opted for a minutes silence, then mad laughter with the rest of the guys).

"Well, I must say… I think of you as a son, and now I won't have young Potter grandchildren to love. But I accept it, and I'm glad for you Harry. I hope you find the right man for you."

On a spurr of the moment, he said "Thanks Mum!" and got up, hugging her. Molly made a choked sound, and hugged Harry tightly for a long moment.

He sat down again by the fire, and a moment later Ginny yelped in a horrified voice, "Were you imagining me as a guy while we were together!"

The room exploded with laughter yet again, even Mrs Wealey was howling. When he finally regained himself, he said comfortingly, "Of course I wouldn't. Guys don't have those-" (He pointed at her chest) "-and disgustingly enough, if they actually do, they'll never get theirs as nice."

Ron made an angry sound, but Ginny practically glowed with embarrassed pride, and replied "I guess you can compliment girls without looking like you want them, now can't you?"

"Yup." Harry said happily, laying down on his back and staring at the faded-from-cleaning mildew spots on the ceiling.

There was a little while of silence while everyone contemplated these new developments in their lives. It was broken suddenly by Remus exclaiming "Good god! It's eleven already!"

Mrs Weasley immediately went into military commander mode, making sure everybody brushed their teeth, got their pyjamas on and were in bed within ten minutes of Lupin announcing the time.

"Goodnight, Harry dear. I'll see you tomorrow and help you unpack and settle in."

"Thanks Mum. 'Night." Harry slurred exhaustedly and immediately fell into a deep slumber.

During the night, he only had one very strange dream. In it, Draco Malfoy woke him just as the sun was rising, and handed him a vial with a thick, pink potion in it. _"Harry, you must make me drink this when we get to school. It doesn't matter how; just make sure I don't know when I'm taking it. It's of the utmost importance to me, please don't ignore this." _The dream Draco said in a slow, echoing voice. In the dream, Harry closed his hand tightly over the vial, smiled reassuringly at Draco, and snuggled back down into his covers. Draco leant down, pressed a warm kiss to his forehead, and whispered faintly _"Thankyou, my love…" _before Harry fell straight back into his deeply peaceful sleep.

**End**

Whoo, five and three quarter pages in Word! I think this is my longest fic ever, not to mention my very first HP one. Please review and tell me if it's good! I'll love you forever if you give me a nice review!

And yes... I did make the murder in Australia because that's where I live... XD


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